I shouldn’t be at the keyboard
You see, I’m a bit drunk and I get the feeling that it’s not an accepted practice in blogsville to be at the keyboard while intoxicated. Fuck it. It’s not as though I have a readership that will be disappointed. Heh, I don’t think I really have a readership. Funny, I’m wondering (about many things) but for the purposes of this blog at this moment, I’m wondering “why do I bother”. Yes folk, the self-pity dial has been turned up to it’s highest setting and Denny wonders why he feels neglected.
Hell, why shouldn’t I wonder. On a certain level I’m just being honest. Why do I, why do we, blog? More specifically, why do I make this effort. I suppose I started because I thought this would be a way for my family to keep up with what’s going on in my life. Then, somehow, I began to think I was writing to a larger audience. I don’t think that’s really the case. Hell, I’m not even sure my family bothers. So, I wonder, is my time spent for naught? Should I spend this time napping or cooking? I don’t know. Why do I make this attempt to communicate? Maybe it’s not about communicating, maybe I just do it for myself. Perhaps it helps me feel connected to people unknown.
I waited too long to start this. I feel myself quickly sliding from drunk to sleepy.
I’ll end on this on a personal note. I think that I should be very, very careful before I ever consider an intimate relationship with anyone. I think it would be better to be lonely than to cause someone else pain.
I think I just want to crawl into the nook of a tree root somewhere and slowly melt into it… to be absorbed into the tree. I feel emotionaly exhausted, confused. I came home tonight and wanted to drink lots of beer and be numb. I succeeded.
06/20/2003
Orrin Hatch: computer killer and software pirate
According to this article at Wired Sen. Orrin Hatch “suggested Tuesday that people who download copyright materials from the Internet should have their computers automatically destroyed.” Heh. Funny thing, this asshole’s official website makes use of unlicensed software.